If this chapter of my life was a chapter of a book it would surely be called Freedom!
I feel so alive, so free in this new-ness God is giving me: a new creation, through and through. Why is it so bewildering that God is this amazing? It shouldn't be! He created me for heaven's sake, but somehow it's still astonishing that he cares so much about ME.
Make room for Love. He's coming through (for us).
If this year/chapter marks a time of freedom, the last year/chapter would certainly be called Chains, that or The Devil Wears Prada...is that okay to say? Probably not. Sorry... It's just that I had no idea walking into last August, what would come to me. Matt, my husband, recently told me he didn't like who I was in the last year. It wasn't that my person changed altogether. It was just that he didn't like how insanely busy and stressed I was. Let's just say it wasn't very becoming for me.
And even though I sometimes feel like Matt's personal assistant these days, I don't really mind. In my heart, I know that me not working for now has some really great purpose in God's plan. I can already see a few glimpses of it, and I'm sure much more astonishment is on it's way.
This new eating and exercising plan Beth and I have begun seems to coincide just right with God's schemings. It's been such a metaphor between my body, my mind, and my spirit. In this process I have been graced with true strength, confidence, beauty, love (how do you love others like yourself if you've been loving yourself like crap?), joy, and FREEDOM. I didn't know it could be this good. Wow, just to imagine missing out on this good...
I tried to tell Matt what it feels like. I told him about running and trying to run to a certain point on the path, the finish, and the way you give it everything you've got at the end, just to get there. Your legs are moving like pinwheels or something. You're huffing and puffing. Your eyes are wide open, arms pumping like crazy. Your whole self, whole heart, whole mind, body and strength are working in synergy (love that word, remember learning it in college...seems like a made up word really). That is freedom. That amazing feeling is freedom in Christ. And I've been feeling more of that lately than ever before.
So I'm like jump-on-the-bed HAPPY:)
And it turns out you really CAN have self-control with eating and exercise. In fact, that's part of the freedom. Total freedom (at least for me) seems to become chaos, but controlled freedom, I have learned, becomes happy!
P.S. It definitely helps that my efforts are really paying off: 5 pounds and 2 waist-inches (of chains) are no longer a part of me!!