Oh. Dear.

Seriously, I'm at an oh. dear. point in this whole eating right and exercising thing. 

Why? 

Because I'm not doing it. 

School started  back up last week and any progress I made went right out the window.  And, apparently, my self-control went flying out alongside the progress. 

The first night I got home last week before 7ish was Thursday, I think, and the same trend is repeating itself this week.  And when I get home at 7, even though I have great ideas of cooking or going for a run or even just doing some work around the house... well.... I somehow end up sitting down and doing none of them. 

Last night, for example, (and oh, how embarassing it is to admit this), I had good intentions.  There was a package of ground beef in the fridge to make Iraqi meatballs and a bundle of aspargus to bake with a little olive oil, both just waiting for me to come home. 

But I had to stop at the grocery store for some cream for my morning coffee....

And there, a loaf of french bread and a bag of pizza rolls called my name...

And sadly, I answered. 

Picture this. 

Upon arriving home, I ignored the yummy (and healthy) meal I'd planned in my head and, instead, while the oven preheated, ate a few pieces of bread (umm yes, with butter).  Then I baked half the bag of pizza rolls and ate them all.  That's about 18 or 20, if you're wondering.  Gross, right?  Oh, but it doesn't stop there.  I decided I wanted a few more.  But of course you can't just bake a few more, so I made the entire other half of the bag.  Thankfully I didn't eat all of them.  I left John about 10.  That's right, folks.  I ate about 30 pizza rolls last night for dinner.

And you wonder why I'm worried I'm falling off the wagon.  I'm pretty sure I've already fallen and the wagon is several feet ahead of me.

So here I am, getting chubbier and more unhealthy as my self-control has apparently disappeared and my schedule is not being terribly flexible and doesn't have time for working out.

And realizing that I'm writing as if my self-control has it's own mind and as if my schedule is a living thing, and blaming them.

Probably need to own up to the fact that if I want to be healthy, I will have to cook when I'm tired, go for a workout even when I don't "have time," and ignore the pizza rolls when they call my name.

Oh. Dear.